Ten burgers, five kitchens, and a twenty-one-dollar gap between the cheapest and the dearest. The almanac counts the valley’s patties.
Method first, as always: this is a census, not a ranking. It covers every burger on the fourteen menus we index for the Menu Finder, with builds and prices as the restaurants themselves printed them in mid-July. We have opinions about burgers; we are keeping them to ourselves.
| The burger | Where | The build, per the menu | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wagyu Steak Burger | The Mill at Glen Ellen | Applewood-smoked bacon, cheddar, caramelized onion | $29 |
| Mushroom-Stuffed Impossible Burger | The Mill at Glen Ellen | Green chili and jack cheese; vegan option | $29 |
| Sonoma Burger | Jack London Saloon, Glen Ellen | Mushrooms, onions, bacon, pepper jack, Thousand Island | $22 |
| BBQ Bacon Cheese Burger | Jack London Saloon, Glen Ellen | Crispy onion strings, cheddar, BBQ sauce | $21 |
| Stella Burger | Stella, Kenwood | Sesame bun, white cheddar, special sauce — pecorino & garlic-rosemary fries included | $20 |
| Garden Court Burger | Garden Court Cafe, Glen Ellen | Six-ounce beef patty | $20 |
| London Burger | Jack London Saloon, Glen Ellen | Lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, cheese | $19 |
| Kids Burger | Garden Court Cafe, Glen Ellen | Three-ounce patty on an English muffin | $8 |
| Smash Burger | Ausiello’s Homeslice, by Oakmont | Double patty, American cheese, caramelized onions, house pickles, Homeslice sauce | — |
| Smash Burger Pizza* | Ausiello’s Homeslice, by Oakmont | American cheese, ground beef, tomato, red onion, chopped pickles, Homeslice sauce | — |
*The census counts the Smash Burger Pizza under protest from the burger side of the house, and notes the pizza desk has filed a competing claim.
What the numbers say
The median grown-up burger in the valley runs $21. The span is wider: $19 buys the Saloon’s baseline London Burger, and $29 buys The Mill’s wagyu with smoked bacon. The most interesting number on the list, though, is the other $29 — The Mill’s mushroom-stuffed Impossible burger costs exactly the same as its wagyu. Meatlessness has achieved price parity in Glen Ellen, which is either progress or cheek depending on your politics.
Glen Ellen is the valley’s burger capital, with seven of the ten — and the Jack London Saloon is its specialist, the only kitchen in the survey with a section of the menu simply headed “Burgers,” three deep. Kenwood answers with one, but it argues value: Stella’s $20 is the only price on the list that includes the fries — pecorino and garlic-rosemary ones at that. Oakmont’s nearest is Ausiello’s Homeslice, technically across the Santa Rosa line on Mountain Hawk Drive, whose double-patty smash burger goes unpriced on the published menu — the one number the census could not collect.
The budget entry is Garden Court’s $8 kids’ burger, a three-ounce patty on an English muffin, which is also quietly the valley’s only breakfast-adjacent burger format. And the census records exactly one meatless option valley-wide — at the top of the price chart. A gap, if any kitchen is reading.
The fine print
The count covers the menus we index and no more. A few kitchens resist indexing — Salt & Stone’s menu sits behind its ordering platform’s bot-protection, so any burger there goes uncounted. Menus change; prices are as printed on July 18 and re-extracted monthly. Spot a burger we missed? [email protected] — the census will stand corrected.
First in an occasional series counting the valley’s plates. The data suggests salads (23 of them) and desserts (32) are next. Try any craving in the Menu Finder.